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After my unemployment ended, I accepted a job through a temp agency to supplement income while I freelanced. The job was at the Pure Group, a digital and advertising company located Midtown-East by Central Park. Initially, I was apprehensive to temp there because their Glassdoor rating and reviews are side-eye worthy and questionable.

When started I was trained by another temp who also worked in the media industry. She found a new job at Hugo Boss and declined the Pure Group’s permanent job offer. After she left Pure Group, I managed the receptionist duties and sample outreach because they have an organic snack brand and sunscreen brand. Everything was going fine. No one bothered me but eventually, that changed.

Pure Group used to share their office space with another company who recently found their own space. To say thank you, the other company held a happy hour in Pure Group’s kitchen. They bought red wine, chips, dip and Ghirardelli Chocolates. Although I didn’t stay for the happy hour, I saw my supervisor and other staff members take part in the activities (i.e. eating the chocolate, chips, and dip). On Monday, the CEO of Pure Group came to the office and saw the Ghirardelli Chocolate on the kitchen counter top. He spoke to my supervisor who lied and told him I ordered the chocolate.

Afterward, my supervisor sent me an email stating that she would have to look over my Fresh Direct food orders when I order groceries for the company. Although I didn’t understand why she lied and felt the need to micromanage me, I replied “thank you for the update,” and also proceeded to refresh her memory regarding who brought the chocolate on the premises and remind her she was in attendance at the happy hour. Also, I didn’t work a full work week to order new groceries for the company so it would be impossible for me to order candy.

She never responded to my email but of course like every other passive aggressive White woman her behavior became cold towards me. Prior to this incident, no one told me that candy that is not under the Mars brand could not be on the premises. Which is understandable. But the principal of the matter is, my supervisor shouldn’t have lied on me.

After this incident, if I needed help around the office (since I was new) she would not help me. After working there for two weeks,  she told me this past Monday, that she hired someone last week Friday,  permanently, and it would be my last day.  I wrote two emails to the temp agency regarding her unprofessionalism, their lack of communication  and the trivial behavior I was exposed to. My mom told me to keep the peace but I feel as though when you work as a temp or receptionist, people don’t think you have adequate work experience prior to being placed in such a position, so, they feel like they can treat you any type of way.

I wanted to share my story because I feel as though many Black employees or even grads believe if they “keep the peace” they won’t upset people who clearly don’t have their best interest at heart and lack integrity.

The post Working While Black: I Was Fired Over A Ghirardelli Chocolate appeared first on MadameNoire.

I never realized how much of an impact hormonal imbalance can have on everyday women who are dealing with menopause, pregnancy, menstrual cycles or just taking medication until I had a talk with a friend about how much our periods suck. I griped about the fact that I get angry, break out and bloat heavily (with a desire to eat everything in sight), but her situation was much more alarming. While she made it clear that she had no desire to harm herself, she admitted that a wave of depression usually takes over during that time of the month. She, at times, feels like she doesn’t have the will to live, and birth control seemed to just make things worse.

What the hell was I complaining about?

With such major highs and lows in mind, I sought clarity from Dr. Erika Schwartz about what’s really going on with our hormones. She is the author of the new wellness book, The New Hormone Solution, as well as the founder and medical director of Evolved Science in New York. We talked to her about the causes of hormone imbalance, the impact it has on us and the best way to deal with it.

MadameNoire: What advice do you have for women seeking to deal with their hormones outside of using birth control?

Dr. Erika Schwartz: I’m not a fan of birth control pills because they suppress natural hormone production and leave women with menopausal hormone levels at age 18. I help women balance their hormones naturally with bioidentical/human identical hormones, diet, exercise, lifestyle changes and supplements.

What causes hormone imbalance?

Life. Whether it’s PMS and acne as a teen, postpartum depression as a 20-something, weight gain in the 30s and beyond, loss of sex drive and then menopause, these are all issues caused by hormone changes. The changes occur naturally as a consequence of aging, stress, environmental factors, sleep deprivation, poor diet, lack of or over exercising — pretty much everything.

What are the symptoms of hormone imbalance that we should be aware of?

Acne, headaches, PMS, postpartum depression, anxiety, palpitations, night sweats, insomnia, hot flashes, skin rashes, itching and new onset allergies. Also loss of sex drive, weight gain or loss, irritability, depression, food cravings, recurrent urinary tract infections and joint pains, just to name the most obvious.

Why does hormonal imbalance lead to “devastating conditions” like infertility, postpartum depression, insomnia, etc.?

Left untreated, these symptoms of hormone imbalance over time will lead to chronic illnesses affecting quality of life initially and ultimately quality of life.

Is it true that chronic stress can lead to hormonal imbalance?

Acute and chronic stress do cause hormone imbalance, yes.

So how do things change as we get older and what can we do about it?

With less hormone reserve and less ability to make the correct hormones at the needed time, with age, we experience more symptoms all at once. That includes hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, weight gain, fatigue, loss of libido, flabby skin, anxiety, depression, etc. We also develop chronic illnesses if we don’t address the hormone imbalances, supplement the hormones, change our diets, improve exercise routines, sleep 7-8 hours a night, deal with stress, and take the proper supplements. If we do, then the aging process treats us better.

The post An Expert Breaks Down Hormonal Imbalance And What You Can Do About It appeared first on MadameNoire.

One of the best things about attending a wedding is seeing the amount of love the bride and groom have for each other, as well as the incredible support system that the couple has in family and close friends who come to witness the special occasion.

Some of this support is provided through traditional speeches and is often given by the best man and maid/matron of honor at the reception. However, I recently attended a wedding where the mother of the groom gave words of encouragement and told a few personal stories. During her lengthy yet poignant speech, she made the following statement about her son: “He loves his momma, takes care of his momma and will always take care of his momma.”

My jaw dropped, along with the jaw of just about every other guest at my table.

Although the rest of her speech continued, I couldn’t really focus as I was fixated on that one statement. Why would she need to tell my friend, the bride whom her son loves, let alone the rest of the room, that her son will always take care of her? What does “take care of” really mean? Was this a warning to her new daughter-in-law?

The assumptions could continue on, as I don’t know how her relationship has been with the bride thus far, but her words were direct and intentional, which leads me to believe one thing: She expects nothing to change. After the mother of the groom made her statement, a friend leaned over to me and asked me, “Has she read the Bible?”

I remember reading the scriptures that pretty much give an overview of how to prioritize the people in your life when it comes to your marriage: God is first, then your spouse. One verse explicitly lays out what a husband should do upon saying “I do.” According to Ephesians 5:29, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

I’m pretty sure that God doesn’t want a married person to stop loving their parents, but the above verbiage does say leave. As in, cut the cord.

Now, would I expect the groom, or any other married man, to completely cut off his parents? Absolutely not. But it’s expected that he will focus on building his own family and will have the support of his parents in doing so. Therefore, I have to wonder about the thought process of the groom’s mother in making her statement. In fact, it made me wonder about all women and their expectations when their sons gets married.

If the relationship is a great one, I’m sure a man’s first love is his mom, and there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s hard for a woman to see her baby boy acquire a new leading lady. Still, there need to be boundaries.

Unfortunately, I’ve heard from some of my friends and peers that some men they’ve been with have a hard time standing up to their mother. It’s like they have a fear of disrespecting her when attempting to communicate; therefore, they choose not to communicate any issue and fail their partner.

I would sincerely hope that my friend, now a newlywed, can effectively communicate to her husband if and when she feels her mother-in-law is overstepping her boundaries. But as someone who watched that speech firsthand, I can say that there’s no doubt that she already has.

What is the best way to ensure that you mother-in-law is respectful of your marriage?

The post Who Truly Comes First, The Wife Or The Mother? appeared first on MadameNoire.

Remy Ma has been very open and honest about the losing her last child due to an ectopic pregnancy.

Thankfully, because she’s financially good- there are ways for her to maneuver around her condition.
And now she’s lending her voice to other women who might find themselves in a similar situation but may not have the means to change their situation.

As we’ve reported before, Remy Ma was carrying her child in her fallopian tubes which resulted in a miscarriage. Her doctors told her as a result, her tubes had been damaged and she would not be able to conceive naturally.

In a recent interview with Essence, she said: “First I was distraught, I was embarrassed, I was ashamed, I felt less than a woman and [the doctor] assured me that was no way to feel and that for a certain amount of thousands of dollars, it can be fixed. And because I have the finances, I never even thought twice about it.”

But that’s not the case for everyone. Realizing this fact, Remy Ma announced that she is launching a fund for women like her.

“It wasn’t until I publicly spoke about it that I realized how many women are in the same predicament as me where they actually can have children, they just need an assist from medical procedures and they can’t because they are not financially stable enough to do it.”

Procedures like in vitro fertilization can cost anywhere from $12,000 to $17,000 per treatment. According to Huffington Post, while many more women are beginning to invest in the procedure, there are still so many who can’t afford it.

During her conversation, Remy Ma even spoke about politicians and lawmakers who have been silent about issues such as these.

“It’s just weird to me that if you want to terminate a pregnancy, you could use your health insurance; however, if you wanted to conceive, health insurance doesn’t cover that. So I’m looking at all of these politicians that claim that they’re pro-life and they want to eradicate women having the choice to terminate their pregnancies, but if you’re pro-life, why would you not set up something so women who can’t conceive and women who want to be mothers can do so.”

You can watch the full interview in the video below.

The post Remy Ma Launches Fund To Help Women Who Have Trouble Conceiving appeared first on MadameNoire.

Naturi Naughton has been turning heads for weeks with her red carpet pregnancy style and the beauty of her maternity photo shoot will absolutely take your breath away.

Naturi was photographed by Joey Rosado who brilliantly captured the actress’s maternal glow, enhanced by body paint and a fitting crown braid adorned with butterflies.

Other photos feature the 33-year-old and her partner Ben in what she considers their first family photo shoot, demonstrating their love for one another, their growing baby, and for Black culture in general. As Naturi explained to Essence.com:

“We both just really appreciate Black culture. Ben wore a shirt from Ghana and my theme was ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ for my baby shower. We just always try to incorporate African proverbs or Kente cloth or using different images to celebrate this beautiful Black girl that’s coming into the world. I think in society we get so caught up trying to assimilate and be like other people, but in reality what we feel is that we just want to celebrate who we are.”

Naturi added that she doesn’t “feel crazy pressure anymore” to rush and marry Ben, explaining that the two are doing things in their own timing.

“Naturally, the way I grew up and the way I was raised…I didn’t anticipate being pregnant at this time. Of course I wanted to be a mom and have children, but the reality is God’s plan is not always in alignment with my plan,” she said. “I wanted to do it my way, but it doesn’t always work out that way. I still think I can still have that dream, and I want to be married — and I will — I think we’re just taking it step-by-step and not worrying about what other people’s judgments or thoughts are because at the end of the day, they’re not living for me, or for us.”

Besides, the starlet already has two great things to look forward to this summer. The first being the return of Power on Starz June 25, and the second, her first child.

“I feel really happy; pregnancy has been good to me. I’m in love, I’m looking forward to just sharing this next level of life. My whole life has been about working and being in the girl group and being on stage and being an actress, but now I get to really enjoy a bigger purpose, which is motherhood, so I’m really excited.”

The post Naturi Naughton’s Pregnancy Photos Will Make You Melt appeared first on MadameNoire.

#PutYourPhoneDownAnd get busy pic.twitter.com/97oU1KZIfK

— Lisa Leyrer (@Lisaley) June 22, 2017

#PutYourPhoneDownAnd Be Kind To Each Other. Enjoy Peace! pic.twitter.com/hVf8UCXj6a

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#PutYourPhoneDownAnd cut loose, FOOTLOOSE! KICK OFF YOUR SUNDAY SHOES! pic.twitter.com/7bFvmggS55

— Josh Siewert (@realreelfiction) June 22, 2017

#PutYourPhoneDownAnd stop checking your ex's page...yes they are shagging that person in the pic with them & the other one too pic.twitter.com/QdfzvQVIHr

— GG (@GemmaGwen) June 22, 2017

Why is #PutYourPhoneDownAnd trending? Because thousands of people are tweeting it...from their phones.

— Kennye West (@KennyFromDaBlok) June 22, 2017

#PutYourPhoneDownAnd spend one minute just looking. What's waiting for you? #GetOutside pic.twitter.com/xqcKtugwBc

— Grand Canyon NPS (@GrandCanyonNPS) June 22, 2017

#PutYourPhoneDownAnd You can still use a pretend phone... pic.twitter.com/paqiSeJAmm

— ŁȺᵾǤĦƗNǤ SꝀᵾŁŁ (@laughingskull59) June 22, 2017

#PutYourPhoneDownAnd tell your friends and family how much you love them! pic.twitter.com/SndeFbsKo6

— ⚜️ Cattsy ⚜️ (@Cattereia) June 22, 2017

#PutYourPhoneDownAnd show me what you workin' with. pic.twitter.com/5ZZ9ziklSH

— Shea Browning (@SheaBrowning) June 22, 2017

#PutYourPhoneDownAnd go play Outside. The graphics are amazing, and very little lag for such a big multiplayer game

— Miles of Hashtags (@MilesOfHashtags) June 22, 2017

The post Twitter Reminds Us Of The Importance Of Engaging With #PutYourPhoneDownAnd appeared first on MadameNoire.

When it comes to dealing with roadblocks, Dominique Fleming’s fitness journey was at one time one after another.

When she couldn’t afford a gym membership, she chose to rely on YouTube videos, Pinterest workout ideas and the sidewalks around her home to get a workout in. And when her neighborhood failed to provide much in terms of healthy food options, the 30-year-old made the most of the produce she could find and started experimenting with recipes. She had to really beef up her culinary skills and do her research to enjoy veggies she had never really eaten before. In the end, Fleming’s hard work paid off. Not only did she completely change her body, slimming down and relieving it of pain, but her healthy dishes also caught the attention of many people online, helping her start her own meal-prep business. It’s so big now that she was able to quit her day job and focus on all things health, fitness and nutrition. We talked to the fitness enthusiast and entrepreneur, now based out of Atlanta, about her road to success — both on the scale and in the kitchen.

MadameNoire: I saw on your Instagram that you’ve had quite the transformation over the years. What did it take for you to officially commit and begin this major change?

Dominique Fleming: Basically, at the time when I kind of got started, I was going through a rough phase in life. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. I hated my job and everything. I would look at pictures of myself online and sometimes I would see pictures other people took of me and I just didn’t see myself that way. I would look and say, “Wow, am I really that big?” Because I didn’t feel that way. So I started kind of slowly. I started doing cardio. I didn’t know a whole lot about fitness back then so I had to start where I was at the time. It was basically where most people start: ground zero. I didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to eat, didn’t know anything about a gym. So I literally started from 0. I got fed up with the way I was looking and health problems. I was having back issues, knee issues, all types of stuff just from being overweight. And at my age, I just felt I should do something about that.

When did you specifically start changing your diet and how did you start? That’s usually the toughest part for people, letting go of the poor nutrition that’s held us back.

Yeah, that is the main part. When I was in college, I transitioned from being a meat-eater to being vegetarian. It was a big learning experience. At the time, I didn’t know at all what I was doing. I still ate a lot of junk food and a high-carb diet at the time. So when I really changed how I was eating, that was around the time I started working out — about 25, 26. I started experimenting with whole food-based meals. The area I lived in didn’t have a whole lot of food options. We did have one fresh market and it seemed that everything there was whole food based. So it was kind of by force that I started cooking things fresh and experimenting with different vegetables I’d never used before.

I read that initially you weren’t able to afford the costs of gyms where you lived. And like you mentioned, a lot of areas aren’t plentiful in healthy eating markets. How were you able to overcome things that many of us probably would have thrown in the towel over? 

Well, at that time I really couldn’t afford a gym membership at all. So I did go on YouTube and looked up at-home workouts. YouTube and Pinterest were really big tools during that time. I did a whole lot of running in my neighborhood because I didn’t have a gym or really any equipment. I had two 10-pound dumbbells that I would use just to do a full-body workout with in my living room. And eventually, a co-worker suggested to me that I join the YMCA because it had an income-based gym membership. So after a couple of months I finally went over there. It’s a sliding price scale. They base it upon your income, so I was able to get in. It was a really great gym and I had no idea that I even had that option initially. That’s something I would definitely encourage people to do. If you’re on tight budget, definitely look for your local YMCA because a lot of the time they do a sliding scale. They have great equipment, just as good as any Lifetime or L.A. Fitness I’ve ever been to. So that was a big help to me.

As far as the food, I was in Detroit at the time and within the city limits, they didn’t have any chain supermarkets. The market that was near me was a mom and pop-owned kind of supermarket and it was small. They really did only carry produce, so I had to kind of make stuff up. I would go in there and buy parsnips and chard and stuff I’d never ever cooked with before and Googled the things I could make with that. So that’s how I got started with the cooking aspect of it. Picking up new ingredients every week and saying, “I’m going to make some type of meal with this.”

I know you said you’ve done intense cardio with a healthy diet as well as focusing on strength training with a healthy diet. Why is the latter form of exercise your preference? 

Everybody’s body is different, but I learned that for the aesthetics I was going for, which was still curvy but fit and toned, lifting weights was far more effective than just doing cardio alone. Cardio, when I did do it, I did drop a lot of weight really fast. But I noticed I lost a lot of my curve. I didn’t have a whole lot of butt left. Legs, all of that kind of just really hit the pier. At the time, I really liked that look because I was just happy to have lost some weight. But as I got more experience in the gym, I realized that weightlifting is really what shapes your body. Cardio can help you lose weight, but it’s not going to give you the shape that I know a lot of women of color and a lot of women in my age bracket are looking to have. And a lot of the time, we’re scared to go in there and lift weight for fear of looking “too manly” or bulking up. But it’s really the opposite. It gives you the curves everybody wants in the right places.

So you’ve been at this for a while and really dropped a lot of weight while also tightening and toning. What advice would you give to others who are getting frustrated with not seeing the specific results they want? 

It’s been about four years for me. If you’re getting impatient, just realize that this is a lifetime journey. It’s not something that will happen overnight and it’s not something where you’ll reach a particular destination and get to stop. It’s a lifestyle change. So if you’re ready to give up and you’re thinking that maybe you’re not getting to the progress you want, just realize that this is something you’re dedicating yourself to for the rest of your life. You’ll see changes along the way. Just be patient, because you’ll eventually get to a place where you at least feel like you’re making great progress.

How did you end up launching your meal-prep business, Eat With Dom? 

So that was actually kind of like a mistake [laughs]. I started out just doing meal prep for myself and would post pictures on Instagram every Sunday. Eventually people started asking me, “Can you do mine?” I started out with maybe two people and I would just do it as they requested. I would freestyle and make whatever I wanted for them. But after a while it kind of started picking up. I was getting requests on Instagram, from co-workers, friends of friends, and before I knew it, I had a full-fledged business to the point where I was able to quit my day job. But it started by mistake. I just started doing it for myself and got coerced into doing it for other people and now it’s a full business.

I do have two assistants right now. At this point, it would be kind of hard for me to do it alone. But we have a pretty decent clientele and we just started shipping, so that’s a new aspect that’s created more of a workload. We’re in the works of trying to find potentially another assistant and another delivery driver. So yeah, it’s growing and we’re pretty excited about where it’s going.

You haven’t been shy about showing your transformation not only with your weight, but with the change in your butt. What are your top three moves for glute development?

I would say the really beneficial things have been weighted cable kickbacks, four sets of those with 12 to 15 reps at a medium weight of 40 to 50 pounds. That’s been really great. Also, deadlifts. They kind of grow the hamstring and that little cup right under the butt. You can really get a lot of nice lift there. And the last one would be raised hip abductors. So just on the hip abductor machine with your hips raised. I usually max out at the heaviest weights I can possibly do because it does build up a lot of muscle there.

With four years of work down, packing on muscle in the right places and garnering a following because of your results, would you say that you’ve reached the goals you had when you initially set out to change you life around? 

Yeah! I definitely feel like health wise I’m at a place where I feel really great. I’m at a healthy weight. I like how I look. At this point it’s a lot about maintenance and learning new things. I try to learn new ways to cook things. I try to experiment and pick up new things to make. It’s just about tweaking little things to see the difference. I’ve found that I don’t have to do as much cardio as I once did, and lifting weights has become a lot easier for me. Fifty pound squatting was insane for me initially and now I can squat like 180. So it’s about progress every day. It’s really about learning more about yourself.

Check out Fleming’s site for her meal-prep business, Eat With Dom and follow her fitness and food journey on Instagram with 11,000 other people. Also, check out the rest of our Fitness Friday profiles!

The post Fitness Fridays: Dominique Fleming Shares Story Behind Her Successful Meal Prep Business And Her Body Transformation appeared first on MadameNoire.

Looks like Leslie Jones is following in the footsteps of Kerry Washington in deciding to keep her personal relationships, private.

During a recent sit down with Conan O’Brien the topic of boos came up and Jones had to say something. But she didn’t volunteer too much.

While she did admit that she is “kind of” seeing someone, it’s not something she’s broadcasting.

“It’s a secret, so I don’t want everybody bothering him, you know what I’m saying.”

The 49-year-old mentioned that if it were up to her, she wouldn’t be talking about the man at all. But when she’s asked about her dating life, she doesn’t want to pretend he doesn’t exist.

“I don’t want to sit on television and be like, ‘Oh, the type of man I’m looking for…’ and then I’ll talk to him and he’ll be like, ‘Yeah, I heard you was looking for this type of dude…’ Don’t get me in trouble!”

While we would love to know bae’s identity, I have to admit this is a smart decision. For now, we can only hope everything works out and some wedding pictures pop up in a couple of years.

The post Leslie Jones Has A Man But She’s Not Going To Tell Us Who He Is appeared first on MadameNoire.

As long as my parents have been married, my mother told me that there are just some things they like to keep the mystery about when it comes to their relationship. My parents don’t leave doors open when they urinate, and my mother hasn’t sat around unphased in a bathroom she’s shared with my father while he’s pooped. To them, some things are better kept to themselves.

But a girlfriend of mine told me a few months back about a boyfriend she dated once who didn’t believe in such boundaries. He believed, which is true, that everyone poops. Therefore, he had no qualms with grabbing his phone and kicking back on the toilet with the door open or taking care of business while she was in the bathroom with him. In fact, she told me that one time she ran herself a nice hot bubble bath after a particularly stressful day. She closed the curtains for privacy’s sake in case her boyfriend needed to run in and out and sank down into the water. She would find moments later that she was being brought out of her moment of zen by the smell of funk. When she pulled back the curtains, there was her boyfriend, midway through a healthy bowel movement. To this day, she still turns up her face when she talks about it.

We’ve all been there. Hell, even Miranda Hobbes of Sex and the City has been there. And by there, I mean at the place in a relationship where people are trying to figure out how to deal with their bowels while dating (or their partner’s bowels).

I’ve dated someone who was very open with his restroom habits. When he urinated, he did so with a stream so strong and steady, it couldn’t help but come out loud. And while that was a little gross sometimes (he would often do this while I was eating), his bowel movement habits were worse. He wouldn’t do it with the door wide open, but he never let out his gas before sitting down. So every morning, without failing, I would hear everything in my bathroom. *cues horn section*

Talk about sexy.

But on the complete flipside, I have a girlfriend who is dating a guy who at one time, wouldn’t dare have a bowel movement in her home. One time, after going out to eat together and having something that left his belly a bit upset, they returned to her place to relax. Soon after settling in, he started to feel uncomfortable, but he didn’t let on that he wasn’t feeling good. Instead of asking to use her bathroom to set things straight, he told her, “I actually have to run home real quick. There seems to be an issue.” She assumed he meant that something had happened, and it had — he had a ferocious case of bubble guts. Once he finally returned home and relieved himself, he called my friend back and said everything was ok. It wasn’t until later when she asked him what had happened in his place that he finally admitted he just wasn’t comfortable enough to deal with an upset stomach in her bathroom. He didn’t think it was right.

We’ve all heard about people who leave the door open when they poop and who can continue to brush their teeth while their partner relieves themselves in the same space. In complete contrast, we’ve also heard of people who avoid being open about their bowel movements and will even go as far as to try and hide poop in their purse when it won’t flush down the toilet so as to avoid embarrassment. But what is too comfortable and what is too uptight when it comes to the bowel habits of the people you date?

I can say that I would never want someone I’m dating to feel as though if they really needed to have a bowel movement, I would be petty enough to judge them for having it in my home. And while I get that it’s probably super awkward when you’re just getting to know someone, if you’ve ever been the person in that situation with a meal in your system that is not interested in cooperating, then you can probably understand the importance of being compassionate. But at the same time, it’s not cute to be that man or woman who is way too comfortable. As the saying goes, let some of the mystery be and save your trumpet solos and some of those sour lunches for your own bathroom…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. What say you? Is it petty to judge the person you’re dating for openly having a bowel movement in your home? 

The post Is This Petty? He’s Waaaaay Too Comfortable Pooping In My Place appeared first on MadameNoire.

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In an interview with The Breakfast Club this week to promote her new comedy, Girls Trip, which comes out July 21, comedian Tiffany Haddish told a whole host of interesting stories. One of them was about the time she ended up getting toxic shock syndrome at 13 and almost died. But leave it to The Carmichael Show star to find a way to see the humor in such a dangerous situation.

“So this is like the third period I ever had,” she told the hosts. “There were no maxi pads, nothing in the house, nothing to use. But under the sink there were these super absorbent tampons. So I was like, ‘Psh, forget it.’ So I put it in and I only had it in for about four or five hours, but as soon as I took it out I started itching, started scratching.”

From there, Haddish said things started to get really bad. She was raised by her grandmother, and while her mother, who was visiting during the incident, didn’t see the severity of her condition, her grandmother did.

“My grandmother was there and my mom had come over. My mom was like, ‘Just give her some Herbalife! That’s all she needs.’ But everything I ate I kept throwing up,” she said. “Every time I drank water, throwing up. My tongue — I got a big tongue. It started to shrink. It go so swollen and little that it was choking me. I scratched holes all over my skin. You know how you go outside chasing the ice cream truck in the summertime and you know if you go barefoot you burn your feet a little bit? It was like that all over my body. Just burnt…My eyes were sunk in, I was completely dehydrated.”

Once she was taken to the hospital, the star finally gained an understanding of what was happening to her, along with a warning to never use a tampon again.

“My grandma took me to the children’s hospital,” she said. “The lady was like, ‘Are you having sex?’ I was like, ‘No but I want to [laughs].’ She asked me if I used tampons, I said, ‘Yeah, I used one.’ She said, ‘Well why are you using tampons?’ I said, ‘Because there’s nothing else to use.’ She said, ‘Are you sure you’re not having sex? How did you get it in there?’ I was like, ‘It took a long time and it hurt really bad but I got it in there.’ It was so uncomfortable. I was like, ‘Dang, it hurts to walk.’ I was like, ‘I don’t know why girls like this,’ and then I looked back at the directions and was like, oh okay [laughs].”

“I ended up having to stay in the hospital for three days,” Haddish added. “They hooked me up with all these IVs. I had my first pap smear and they basically broke my hymen. They put fingers in all your holes. It was the worst. And the lady told me, ‘If you ever use tampons again, it would be like committing suicide. The reason you’re so sick off of the tampon is because they put a chemical in there that is the same chemical they put in rat poisoning. And the bigger the tampon is, the more poison in there so you bleed more. So, you’re allergic to this poison and that’s why you have toxic shock.'”

In replacement of tampons, Haddish revealed that she’s a big fan of the menstrual cup. She took heed of her doctor’s warning and is avoiding tampons by any means necessary, even if she admits that pulling out her cup can be like dealing with a “crime scene” from time to time…

Check out her story below, starting at the 29:50 mark:

The post About That Time Comedian Tiffany Haddish Got Toxic Shock Syndrome The First Time She Used A Tampon appeared first on MadameNoire.

The post Meagan Good Celebrates A Year On Her Fitness Journey; See Her Most Intense Workouts appeared first on MadameNoire.

Credit: LEE CELANO/Getty and Patricia Schlein/WENN.com

"My life got sweeter, richer the day I met you. I love you like a big ole dog!!! Happy 14 years my love, my heart.....#JuliusTennon"

The post Look At Them Now: Viola And Julius Are Celebrating 14 Years Of Marriage Today appeared first on MadameNoire.

Snoop Dogg

F. Gary Gray

Anthony Anderson

Mary J. Blige

Taraji P. Henson

Shonda Rhimes

RuPaul

Zoe Saldana

Ice T

Niecy Nash

Bernie Mac

The post All The Black Folks Who Are Getting A Star On The Hollywood Walk of Fame Next Year appeared first on MadameNoire.

Thank you @people and #davequinn @ninedaves the writer who I felt safe with sharing the intimate details of my wedding day. Thank you for all the wonderful people that made my dreams come true 💃🏽 @pallascouture For my stunning gown 💍 @davediamondz 📸 #albertahenryphotography And all the amazing people of St. Lucia who respected our privacy and sent us many well wishes and secrets to a happy marriage. God bless you all and our sacred union. #ThatsMrsToYou 👰🏾 #kenyamoore #wife #fairytale #weddingdress #wedding #bride #truelove #godisgood

A post shared by Kenya Moore (@thekenyamoore) on Jun 22, 2017 at 12:43pm PDT

We’ve already reported on the scant details from Kenya Moore’s wedding. But knowing her personality, there was bound to be more in the pipeline. And true to form, Kenya recently spoke to People about the ceremony and the entire day at a private resort in St. Lucia.

She began stating that “It was just so perfect.”

As we’ve mentioned Kenya said that she and her husband Marc Daly met a year ago and began dating in December before exchanging vows in the sand.

She explains, “We wanted something simple and not overly complicated.” She said that Daly is“extremely romantic” and heavily influenced their day. “He didn’t want something for show. He didn’t want it to be left up to other people’s interpretation of love. He just wanted it to be what he sees it: him looking into my eyes and us being together. It was just two people in love who wanted to get married.”

Overall, Kenya said she was happy with the way things turned out.

Marc, you are the best man I have ever known. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. My #rideordie #bonnieandclyde thank you @pallascouture for my amazing wedding dress #fairytale

A post shared by Kenya Moore (@thekenyamoore) on Jun 19, 2017 at 4:15pm PDT

“I would not have done it any other way — it was amazing,” Moore added. “My sign is an Aquarius, so I really love the water and the ocean and always wanted that as my backdrop. And we were all there on the white sand beach and you could hear the waves in the background. It was so romantic.”

Kenya shared that her best friend and frequent face on RHOA Brandon DeShazer walked her down the aisle in her father’s absence. He was celebrating his birthday in Jamaica at the time.

“It was so last-minute, he couldn’t make it. But Brandon was there, which was super special to me.”

Kenya’s aunts were in attendance, including her Aunt Lisa who was Moore’s matron of honor and her best friend from high school Shonda.

“I was raised by my grandmother, so even though she’s my aunt, we grew up as sisters. It meant so much to have her there.”

As far as Kenya’s beloved pets, her Yorkies King and Twirl, they were unable to attend.

“We would have had to start that paperwork 60 days in advance to get them out of the country, and we didn’t pull it off in time,” Moore said. “But it would have been fun to have them there!”

While Kenya loved her ceremony, she plans on doing the whole thing over again next June with more of her friends and family in attendance.

As for her dress, Moore wore a mermaid cut gown with sheer panels and a plunging neckline. It was decorated with sequence and beading flower appliqués.

“The dress was perfect when I saw it. I’m a woman of a certain age, but my husband wanted me to look sexy. And it was a beach wedding, so I didn’t want anything too formal. I knew this was exactly what I wanted when I saw it.”

Walking down the aisle in it, Moore said she felt beautiful, sexy, powerful and feminine at the same time.

“[Marc] really didn’t even want me to wear makeup because he said I look more beautiful when I don’t wear makeup,” Moore said. “And I think that’s why I really appreciate him. He sees me for who I am and not as reality TV sees me or the world sees me. He really knows my heart.”

When it came down to reciting her vows, Moore said, “I cried the whole time writing them so I ended up just saying what I felt from my heart. I was so emotional, I just couldn’t get through without this really big ugly cry.”

The post “It Was Just So Perfect” Kenya Moore Shares More Details From Her Wedding Day appeared first on MadameNoire.

Credit: Guillermo Proano/WENN.com

If you proclaim Black Lives Matter but don’t do anything to prove they do, Halle Berry has a bone to pick with you. The actress recently spoke about the movement during the Cannes Lions Girls’ Lounge and she had some rather strong words about making sure people are putting action behind their vocal activism:

“In my world, I get so tired of people complaining about, ‘Oh black lives matter,’ and they pontificate and pontificate about it, and I say, ‘Well, what are you doing about that? It may not seem significant to you, but that’s how we start. Have you called your local politicians, have you written a letter?’

“When they say they’ve done nothing, I say, ‘Well, don’t talk to me … because you are part of the problem, because you are sitting here spewing negativity and complaining. I don’t have time for people who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk.”

Naturally, that begs the question, what is Halle doing? But since last year, the actress has been urging citizens to get involved in their local government. In the wake of Philando Castille and Alton Sterling’s deaths she vowed to take action and encouraged others to do so as well with this post on Instagram, writing:

“I promise to find ways to get involved and help. Please do the same. You can start by reaching out to your local politicians, legislators & government officials NOW. Let us be heard. God bless all the victims and families of these senseless CRIMES.”

Sounds like Halle is talking the talk and walking the walk; she just needs a little help.

The post Halle Berry: “Stop Sitting Here Spewing Negativity And Complaining” #BlackLivesMatter If You’re Doing Nothing appeared first on MadameNoire.

I just received an e-mail from a manager that I am now convinced doesn’t know how to make a proper schedule. Forget key elements like a chart or calendar of dates and time slots for who will be working when and where, he can’t even seem to grasp the simple communication skills of discussing with his team who is available or the ability to assign tasks accordingly.  This is a man who has a whole Master’s degree but I suspect has risen in the ranks based off his smile and women getting caught in the windshield wipers of his eyelashes when he asks them to do his managerial tasks while still getting paid a fraction of his salary. I learned how to make a schedule when I was a junior in high school managing an ice cream shop. Because when I was a teenager I spent my summers working and not perfecting my manipulation skills along with my make-up.

Maybe I’m risking sounding like Aunt Pearl here who speaks fondly of the fifties when families ate dinner at the table and went to Sunday morning service, but as I grow in my career I found myself more and more surrounded by people who lack basic critical-thinking and problem-solving skills. Not to mention that they have no concept of work-ethic like if you’re going to be late you call and let someone know out of consideration or if you know that organization’s annual fundraiser happens the first day of summer EVERY year, maybe not continue to plan your two-week cruise around that same time. I’m not saying anyone should be a slave to their job title, but at least make an attempt to be a team player.

You may have heard me question a few weeks ago where the work-ethic is among my fellow millennials. A recent Washington Post article reveals that the work-ethic may be missing because teens are no longer working to develop it. In fact, the number of teenagers who have some sort of job while in school has apparently dropped from nearly 40 percent in 1991 to less than 20 percent today, an all-time low since the United States started keeping track in 1948. Author Jeffrey J. Selingo cites that one main reason is that the job market just isn’t there for today’s teens like it used to be. After the recession of 2008, many adults found themselves underemployed in positions that typically went to teens like grocery store cashiers, fast food workers and retail associates. When faced with an adult candidate with a flexible schedule and no need to adhere to child labor laws and a teen who could only work certain hours doing certain tasks, many employers opted for the adult. Ron Lieber, author of The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money, states that to most employers, even the most unqualified adult will almost always be more attractive to employ than a minor who can only work certain evening hours and may need to take breaks for school:

“What employer wants an employee who can only work during the day for a few weeks a year?”

Lieber also says we may be seeing a new generation of parents who have over scheduled their children with academic and extra-curricular activities, and earning income as a teen seems to be an afterthought. But Selingo says that the negative outcomes of teen employment are tied less to being employed and more to how often and how long. Typically anything under 20 hours doesn’t tend to have a huge impact on a student’s studies.

I’ve worked since I was 14-years-old and I can say with confidence that serving Blizzards upside down at Dairy Queen and restocking cucumber melon candles on the shelves of a Bath and Body Works provided me with more transferable skills than any academic program ever did. I learned about communication and compromise by simply sitting down with my little ice cream parlor staff and figuring out a schedule that worked well for all of us. I must say it’s the reason I’ve avoided a lot of miscommunication in my career because I’m able to approach people in tense situations without being confrontational or hiding behind an e-mail signature. There was a time I worked three jobs and traveled between three different counties and gained the skills of time management and a better sense of direction as I navigated Bucks County, Philadelphia and everywhere in between. I learned how to interact with people in different neighborhoods from different backgrounds and most importantly I learned how to balance my pride as an employee with the humility to not burn bridges with certain employers even in the worst of situations. According to Selingo, skills like these are the very things that set apart certain candidates when it comes to interviewing for more professional positions later in their careers. He spoke with Sarah Brubacher, former head of Ebay’s university program who said most employers usually can tell right way whether a recent college grad had work experience in the past or not:

“First-timers come to the job with a little too much self-confidence, asking what you can do for them.”

Brubacher ain’t never lied. I’ve witnessed grads who are only a few weeks past their graduation send e-mails to prospective employers to tell them they would no longer like to be considered for the position because the employer took longer than two weeks to get back to them about a second interview. I’m a big supporter of the idea that people should seek formal education not just for the purpose of job-seeking (although I get it we all want to be able to afford name brand paper towels) but just to be cultured, well-informed individuals. I also stan for the fact that being educated isn’t necessarily equivalent to having a degree. When I graduated I knew that my degree might get me in the building to pursue certain careers, but I never thought my degree entitled me to special treatment and I knew I’d need some experience and willingness to get my “Drake” on and start from the bottom to build character and competency. But then again, these were lessons I learned from slinging soft serve and peddling body wash and not from sitting in someone’s classroom being told I was a “special snowflake”.

I don’t want the first time my child learns about work ethic is when she’s fresh out of college applying for her first entry level position. Granted, the skills that I learned to do my job came from the books, but the ways I learned how to keep a job came from witnessing two parents who got up and went to work every day even when they didn’t want to or held their tongues in the face of a subpar supervisor and waited until they got home to list all of their grievances. It also came from doing a few no calls no shows as a teen because I wanted to visit my boyfriend’s dorm 2 hours away despite being scheduled for work and returning to employers who were disappointed but believed in me enough to not fire me. It came from an employer who allowed me to sell soft-serve in the middle of January because he knew I needed money for college despite the fact that he hadn’t turned a profit in months.

So now that I’m a parent, I get it. I don’t want my daughter slaving away her youth picking up bras from the junior department floor and being distracted from her studies.  I also get that those jobs may not be as plentiful because a whole generation has been forced to settle for less because they’re still paying off student loans for career prospects that universities promised that never came to fruition. But I also understand that work ethic can come from something as simple as showing up to cut your neighbor’s grass every other Sunday. Summer breaks are great and I want my daughter to enjoy as many of them as she can before her adult years shut them down, but professionalism isn’t something that’s seasonal and if what she learns washing cars for the summer gets her a company car down the line, I’m all for it.

Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a  passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

The post Summer Break My Behind: Why Your Teen Needs To Be Working For The Summer appeared first on MadameNoire.

Young Thug has been credited as a “fashion icon” in the past few years bringing a colorful voice to hip-hop rocking everything from fingernail polish to cheetah-print dresses. While the CoverGirl brand might be able to appreciate his beauty choices, they can’t get behind his most recent message, particularly because it borrows a slogan they’ve featured for decades.

In April, Young Thug announced an upcoming project entitled Easy, Breezy, Beautiful Thugger Girls but when the album was released on June 16^th, the title was shortened to Beautiful Thugger Girls. VIBE reports that fans suspected a legal issue was behind the name change. Recently a CoverGirl representative confirmed in a statement that the album’s message was in direct conflict with their brand and that the rapper didn’t have permission to use the slogan or anything like it:

“CoverGirl was not contacted by Young Thug or any parties regarding his original album title. The album is not aligned with our values at CoverGirl. Violence and abuse are unacceptable behaviors. We do not support the use or association of our iconic slogan, ‘Easy, Breezy, Beautiful, CoverGirl ‘ with Young Thug’s video, album or promotional materials.”

The unacceptable behaviors the brand referred to are a part of a promotional video for the album that was posted. The video shows a group of women in black ski masks with the initials “E.B.B.T.G.” stitched into the forehead violently beating up another woman as a part of a gang initiation into the beautiful thugger girls clan. After beating the young woman up, the group takes her into a room covered in creepy baby dolls that have been scribbled on with a Sharpie marker and missing arms and legs. The group proceeds to light candles in what appears to be some kind of ritual and covers the woman’s battered and bruised face with duct tape that they then label with the words “Easy, Breezy, Beautiful Thugger Girls.”

Despite the controversy and confusion the promo caused some fans, SPIN recently reported that Beautiful, Thugger Girls is a pretty solid album:

“The results are something to behold. In its sonic specificity and imaginativeness, Beautiful Thugger Girls makes for Thug’s most unified project since Barter 6, mixing a more direct aim at crossover hits with the same inspired flights of stylistic fancy that have characterized his patchy but always-imaginative releases over the past two years.”

“The album feels unprecedented within his catalog because it strikes a balance Thug has never quite pulled off on a single project: mixing a unified, album-wide sound with moments of aggressive experimentation and nagging hooks.”

Looks like even if CoverGirl can’t get behind the message, the music is at least good. You can check out the promo video that’s causing all of the hoopla below:

E.B.B.T.G pic.twitter.com/jnzBsWd7YP

— Young Thug ひ (@youngthug) June 13, 2017

The post CoverGirl Not Here For Young Thug’s Take On “Easy, Breezy…” Slogan appeared first on MadameNoire.

You may recall actress Angelina Jolie opening up about her preventative double mastectomy procedure back in 2013 after doctors discovered she carried the “‘faulty’ gene” BRCA1 and had roughly an 87 percent risk of contracting breast cancer. In an op-ed published in the New York Times, Jolie hoped her experience would serve as support for women who struggled with maintaining feelings of femininity when facing the procedure:

“I can tell my children that they don’t need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer. It is reassuring that they see nothing that makes them uncomfortable. They can see my small scars and that’s it. Everything else is just Mommy, the same as she always was. And they know that I love them and will do anything to be with them as long as I can. On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.”

The star revealed that after her surgery, her risk for developing breast cancer dropped down to 5%.

However, the New York Post is reporting a Harlem woman may be feeling more confused than relieved after undergoing the same kind of surgery. Eduvigis Rodriguez says a procedure in which her left breast was removed and other surgeries followed to correct complications left her weary, especially after learning that she didn’t even have cancer in the first place.

“I didn’t know whether to smile and thank God I didn’t have cancer or cry because I’ve been through so much,” the 51-year-old expressed to the publication.

The whole ordeal began when Rodriguez discovered a lump in her breast before undergoing a biopsy procedure at Mount Sinai Bethel Israel Hospital. A malpractice suit filed in a Manhattan supreme court reveals Rodriguez had benign growth in the tissue of her left breast that was believed to be cancerous, however it was later revealed that Dr. Jean-Marc Cohen misdiagnosed Rodriguez.

She was then sent to Lenox Hill hospital where according to a policy put in place in 2012, all pathology reports done at other hospitals must first be verified by Lenox Hill practitioners before any major surgery. This verification never took place despite a form signed by surgeon Dr. Magdi Bebawi stating one was.

Dr. Bebawi then performed the surgery and afterwards when the tissue was being tested to confirm its cancerous nature it was found to be benign. According to court documents, Cohen also performed his own test and came to the same conclusion. The doctor says he immediately called Rodriguez to apologize for the grave mistake:

“After the surgery, when I was told that the review of the biopsy showed no cancer, I immediately called her and made her aware that I am very sorry and I feel very bad that we did this procedure for no cancer.”

Rodriguez shares that apology won’t be quite enough and is now working to make sure justice is served and this same carelessness won’t happen with anyone else:

“I want explanations. I do not want to see this happen to anyone else. I had confidence in the surgeon and the hospitals, but I cannot believe all the mistakes that were made.”

Rodriguez will never get back her time, the days of worry and fear she must have experienced, and even the way her body once appeared but we hope she gets justice and honestly a whole lot of money for her ordeal.

The post Woman Undergoes Mastectomy Before Learning She Never Had Breast Cancer appeared first on MadameNoire.

If you love ice cream and wine, rosé in particular, then you’re in for a treat this summer.

If you hadn’t already guessed, rosé ice cream now exists all thanks to Smitten Ice Cream. The shop, which is located in California, is widely known for serving some of the freshest and most delectable ice cream on Earth. Seriously, there’s Blueberry Lavender, Brown Sugar with Cinnamon Shortbread, Honey Thyme, Cookie Dough with Pretzels and Chocolate Chips, and many more to drool over. And of course, their newest flavor, Sonoma Rosé.

This flavor in particular mixes it’s creamy base with Scribe Winery’s canned rosé,  Una Lou Rosé. For those up on their wine game, the canned wine is made from pinot noir grass and features notes of grapefruit and strawberries. Yum!

Congrats to the @petitmarlowesf team on their opening! We’re so excited to be a part of your menu! Head on over for their delicious bites and get their Chef’s Pink dessert–a Smitten collaboration of Rosé ice cream made with @unalourose wine from @scribewinery! Also available at our SF Mission shop and tomorrow at the Ferry Building Farmers Market! Tag a friend who needs a little more Rosé in their life 😋

A post shared by Smitten Ice Cream (@smittenicecream) on Jun 23, 2017 at 5:43pm PDT

Although Smitten’s sweet treats can only be purchased on site at their California brick-and-mortar or Smorgasbord in Los Angeles, they offer national shipping via Goldbely, a site that dutifully ships food from local shops nationwide. But do be forewarned, you have to order five pints of ice cream at a time, which will roughly set you back about $109.

There’s no doubt this is a pricey purchase, but if you’re an ice cream and wine fiend, why not give it a try on a special occasion?

The post Apparently, There Is Now Such A Thing As Rosé Ice Cream… appeared first on MadameNoire.